Rifftrax is the currently ongoing project of Michael J. Nelson of Mystery Science Theatre 3000 fame. It's basically an alternate commentary track that you sync up with the movie to create a MST3k for which no film rights have to be purchased. But we are lazy people, and do not have the time or inclination to go out and purchase/rent a movie and sync up the audio when we get home. But have no fear, I've done it for you! Now it's one easy step and you're good to go. The film's original sound is on one audio channel, and the Rifftrax commentary is on the other. Choose whichever one you want to listen to, though I pity the man who wants to watch these movies without the Rifftrax.
What can be said about the delightful brain hemorrhage that is Troll 2? Far be it from me to attempt to describe just what exactly this movie is about when the lovely people on imdb have already done such a wonderful job.
[quote]A young child is terrified to discover that a planned family trip is to be haunted by vile man-eating monsters out of his worst nightmare. His attempt to save his beloved family is assisted by the spectre of his deceased grandfather. Also, there are NO trolls in this movie, only goblins.[/quote]
[quote]In this family comedy adventure, the Waits family are tired of the food in their normal town, so they trade houses to live in a wonderful half empty town. Oh, Elliot it will be wonderful! Soon the Goblins are trying to get them to eat their food with green stuff on it, and the final disco showdown is at hand. Nilbog will never be the same![/quote]
[quote]Joshua's family takes a trip to NILBOG, which, unbeknownst to them, is the kingdom of the goblins, as told to young Joshua by his grandfather Seth, who just happens to be dead. Now it's up to Josh, magical time stopping Grandpa Seth, and a bologna sandwich to save the family from the evil Goblin Queen, who uses everything from magical rocks to an ear of corn, to destroy Josh's family.[/quote]
[quote]Young Johnathan is shocked to find that the bedtime stories he was told by his deceased grandfather, the infamous GRAMPA SETH, of evil GOBLINS who turn people into living vegetables in order to eat them, is about to come to terrifying reality on a family trip to the town of NILBOG. With the assistance of the Troll master, CREEDENCE LEONORE GIELGUD, the Trolls wish to feed Johnathan's family evil food.[/quote]
The only thing I have left to add is just how mind-bogglingly terrible this film is. The acting is probably the worst I've ever seen, and the writing staff appears to be made up of an epileptic sea turtle, and a rotting tree stump. And it's freaking hilarious.
Word of warning: Though the movie is entitled Troll 2, there are absolutely no trolls in the entire thing. So if you are a huge fan of the troll species, prepare to have your dreams crushed.
Format: This particular rip is in glorious Matroska format. All hail the Motherland!
Commentators: Michael J. Nelson and special guest Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka of SomethingAwful.com
IMDB Rating: 1.9/10 #17 on the imdb bottom 100!
[quote=Troll 2 is bringing Sexy Back]