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Bleach Shattered Blade [PAL]

Sega
Polygon Magic
3D Fighting
Release: Feb 29, 2008 »
PEGI: 12+

Bleach whitens, so it's a good title for a manga about: ethereal ninjas who cleanse evil spirits. It's also toxic, making it an apt name for a game you should avoid at all costs, which, in this case, is Bleach: Shattered Blade. Based on the anime adaptation of the aforementioned manga, Shattered Blade is a dim-witted 3D fighting game that squanders its source with idiot controls, chintzy production values, long loading times, and a lame plot. This is not even a good game for rabid fans, as they are the ones most likely to be offended by Polygon Magic's horrible whitewashing of their favorite fantasy.

If you aren't familiar with the series, Bleach tells the story of a young man who can see dead people and one day inadvertently absorbs all the powers of a young-looking spirit ninja dispatched by heaven to hunt hollows. The hollows are corrupted souls that live in a stark desert and prey on lost spirits they find on Earth. If you can't already tell, Bleach's three worlds are insanely intricate and detailed. They have all sorts of rules, symbols, and random exceptions, but you wouldn't know any of that from Shattered Blade. There are many stories at work in this game, but most follow this formula: Hero X is told by character Y that they need to collect shards to meet pressing objective Z. Upon collecting the shards by beating up a handful of opponents, character Y turns out to be Arturo Plateado, an evil hollow you then defeat. After that, everyone makes fun of your character for being fooled so easily and the credits roll.

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