Yoni (pronounced YO-NEE) is a Sanskrit word for the vagina that is loosely translated as “Sacred Space” or “Sacred Temple.” Its meaning and use is an alternate perspective from the Western view of the female genitals. In Tantra, the Yoni is seen from a perspective of love and respect. This is especially helpful for men to learn.
The purpose of the Yoni Massage is to create a space for the woman (the receiver) to relax, and enter a state of high arousal and experience much pleasure from her Yoni. Her partner (the giver) experiences the joy of being of service and witnessing a special moment. The Yoni Massage can also be used as a form of safer sex (when latex gloves are used) and is an excellent activity to build trust and intimacy. Some massage and sex therapists use it to assist women to break through sexual blocks or trauma.
The goal of the Yoni massage is not orgasm. Orgasm is often a pleasant and welcome side effect. The goal is simply to pleasure and massage the Yoni/vagina. From this perspective both receiver and giver can relax, and not have to worry about achieving something. When orgasm does occur it is usually more expanded, more intense and more satisfying. Orgasm is allowed to happen or not happen.
It is also helpful for the giver to not expect anything in return. Just allow the receiver to enjoy the massage and to relax into herself afterwards. Of course, other sexual activity may follow but it should be entirely the receiver’s choice. This perspective will build greater intimacy and trust, and will greatly expand your sexual horizons.
Bathing is always helpful as it relaxes both the receiver and giver. A quiet space is desirable with pleasing music, candles, pillows, etc., or whatever makes the participants relax and feel safe. Allow yourself enough time and do not hurry through the process.
Go to the bathroom before beginning the massage. The best results will occur when the bowels and bladder are empty and you will avoid the unnecessary experience of interrupting the massage to go to the bathroom.
Connect with your partner by hugging, holding, eye gazing (looking into each other’s eyes for an extended time), or whatever brings you to a place of safety and relaxation.
Have the receiver lie on her back with pillows under her head so she can look down at her genitals and up at her partner (giver). Place a pillow, covered with a towel, under her hips. Her legs are to be spread apart with the knees slightly bent (pillows or cushions under the knees will also help) and her genitals clearly exposed for the massage.
The giver sits cross-legged between the receivers’ legs. The giver may wish to sit on a pillow or cushion. This position allows full access to the Yoni and other parts of the body.
Before contacting the body, begin with deep, relaxed breathing. Both giver and receiver should remember to keep breathing deeply, slowly and with relaxation during the entire process. The giver will gently remind the receiver to start breathing again if the receiver stops or takes shallower breaths. Deep breathing, not hyperventilating, is very important here.
Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, breasts, etc., to get the receiver to relax and for the giver to prepare for touching the Yoni.